Barcelona....Hip, Art, Fun, Dancing, Beach, Homeless, Thieves, Drug Dealers, Smells like Poop

Grungy on the outside, hip on the outside.

It is bad enough that there is crime, why would people poop and pee on the street?

There is an owner near by, no worries.

<3

Columbus was not self-centered, not sure if he was alive when this was erected in his honour.

Of course there is art but you should see the dark alleys.

Be grateful that there is light, it is very important at night.

Lobsters sit at the bottom of the ocean, they won't pick your pocket, they have no fingers.

Old art is still art, landscape architecture is important, don't walk around to the other side.

No stopping!


Love,
Jacob "the apple master" Jingle Hi-Mer Smith akkakkakaAKAKA JUSTIN TYLER RUSSSSSSSSIKOFF


DISCLAIMER: BLOGGER IS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT WHEN POSTING AND ORGANIZING PICTURES

Gabe

Gabe Guazzini, 36, is a part owner of One Eyed Jack Rock Bar in Florence, Italy.  Besides being an owner and a bartender Gabe is a musician.  He plays bass, guitar, harmonica, and he is a singer.   Throughout his life music has play a big part.  After a breakup with his girlfriend of eight years Gabe decided to drop everything in Florence and move to Seattle.  Obviously he was feeling upset and the move helped him to take his mind of things.  While in Seattle Gabe worked for a small time record label as a graphic designer, he designed some posters and cover art for while on that job.  Eventually the label merged with a larger label and he was let go.  He got a job at a pizza restaurant but without a visa he had come back to Florence after only a few months in Seattle.

            Eventually back in Florence he met up with an old friend and took part owner in One Eyed Jack’s.  One Eyed has some of the best music out of any bar in Florence.  Sticking with Rock and Roll all the time creates an awesome atmosphere and strays away from gangster rap or club music.  Gabe also is in a band here in Florence where they play Psychedelic/70s esque rock music.  Gabe life’s his live like a wave and he never knows what he may end up doing.  When asked about where he wants to be he said “I want to be back in the US, eventually”.  

Italy is Breaking the Law

One thing you learn at an early age is that when the A/C is on you shut the window.

In Italy it is the opposite.

They only keep the door open with the A/C on.  It makes absolutely no sense to me.  They purposefully leave the doors open.  I dont understand, I really have no idea why they do it, I dont understand.

If someone could get me in contact with the man in charge of Italy, let me know, there needs to be a law that says "A/C on, doors shut."

-JR the Birdman AKA Justin Tyler Russikoff

Hostels Suck in the Morning but Farts are Still Funny

Waking up in a hot, stuffy, stinky, sun lit room at around 8am sucks real bad.  Like I said, it smells like stagnant sweat and is filled with 15 people from around the world.  Most of the guests were still asleep with the exception of me, and a couple early risers getting ready for their day.  I was the only one who spoke English, so I closed my eyes and just listened as I tried to go back to sleep.

I really couldn’t pick up on anything, it all sounded like mish-mosh-patty-wag to me.  Still, I observed.  My neighboring bunk bed housed a couple, I’m not sure where they were from but they spoke no English.  They were packing their bags for the day and chatting quietly about random stuff.  All it took was a sleeping Spaniard to lay a nice fart to break their concentration.  There was a beautiful pause and then a nice long chuckle to follow and I held my laugh in but I was laughing inside.  It was then where I realized that there is no such thing as a universal language butt farts transcended all languages and translated in to 100% grade A laughter.

-Jack the Chipper, AKA Justin Russikoff

Venice is just beautiful in the summertime

Hot, Hot, Hot. Some people say that Venice is beautiful, and I totally agree, but that doesn’t mean that I could spend the rest of my life there (I could spend the rest of my allowance there however).

Ahhh the people of Venice…..those unorganized, slow, hot (with one t), sweaty people. As some frequenters of the US of good ol’ A may know is that we keep our food refrigerated. Not saying that we did it for our whole life as a country, but we did do it as soon as we got blessed with the fridge. With that said, the Venetians and Italians still prefer to throw as much salt as possible on their raw meat until it is salty or sweaty enough for the bacteria to get so pissed off with the meat that they just move on to a better place (probably and armpit or something), they also love to leave their bread out! So far I have been eating enough salted and cured meat to keep any bacteria in my stomach up at my armpits.

You know what else is sweet??! Italians love the phrase “My word is my bond” or better yet “If you break my fucking word you owe me 50 Euro” pardon my Italian. I told a Venitian that I just went to the bathroom and he asked me if the toilet was clean, I said yeah. Turns out in his eyes it wasn’t up to par, so he pushed me on the ground and forced me to buy him 50 euro worth of Arfen (this year it would be Dolofast) that didn’t actually happen but I bet It would have if I was able to stand the blistering heat in the bathroom, didn’t I mention that Italians don’t believe in expanding and contracting a special gas to dehumidify and cool things?….I think I did.

Now Venice isn’t all bad. They have their checks and balances and their glass and their Catholicism and their gangster lean and their arches and last but not least their LACE!!!! GO! LACE!!! Who doesn’t love lace????? (I don’t unless it’s on Heidi Klum) Beautiful Burano, the city of lace………..

Things they have: Colorful houses, Polenta, Great Pizza, Red Chicago Bulls Cowboy Hats, Fish (not phish), a leaning building, Masks, Canals, Bridges, Boats, and Lace!

Things they don’t have: Ketchup, Hot-Sauce, Tap Water, and Shade (except in a great alley way)

I like to make stuff up, so don’t believe anything I every say. ALL IN ALL (cliché!) definitely go travel to Venice, BUT DON’T STAY THERE!!!! Take a day, a 9 hour straight line walking tour, do all the stuff you’ve ever heard about, see Aerosmith, THEN GO STRAIGHT HOME! But you don’t have to listen to me.

Till next time,

James the Pearl Monroe aka Justin the Tyler Russikoff